The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE): A delectable tale of inefficiency

We at Minimally Useful recognize that our very name screams inefficiency, so trust us (lol) when we say, we know something about doing things inefficiently. We have also prided ourselves on various ways of slowing things down and injecting further inefficiencies through malicious compliance. We've covered these in detail in our short-lived podcast Crapitalism and through our master work MVP+1. Suffice it to say, game respect game and we know a self-imposed roadblock when we see it.

The List

To celebrate the achievements of the nations new Top Nerd (Señor Elono Muskobel), we have a created a list of inefficiencies generated by DOGE. You can find that list over at DOGE Ya Know What I'm Saying.

Author's note, there is a whole series of these pictures that I highly recommend and we will most definitely be using in other posts.

The Reason

Why would you take time out of your schedule hustling the elderly in pickleball, you may ask? Because we want to. Like mentioned before, game recognize game, and this may be happening in front of our eyes as the most ambitious attempt impeding anything ever seen before. Like MVP+1 on steroids, but not normal steroids. Maybe mutant steroids created during a supernova that fell into a vat of toxic waste after getting bitten by a radioactive Pepe the frog.

But also, we think there is an opportunity for federal employees to really have fun with this. With nearly 2 million of them, they can kick this whole malicious compliance thing up to 11 when the efficiency man comes knocking at their door. We're talking PowerPoint presentations on the finer details of their job. Not just the highlights, but really down in the nitty-gritty. Anything less than 400 slides is probably missing out on some incredibly important details. It's also going to be incredibly important to have all of these meetings in person. There's just no way this documentation can be sent electronically or be delivered over video call. After all, return to office is a HUGE portion of Muskobel's policies because the face-to-face is crucial to efficiency. And we mean everything should be face-to-face. No more messaging. No more emails. No more zoom calls. No more phone calls. You get up, walk your ass down there, and show them how efficient you are.

But Seriously

Alright, we know that there is probably some inefficiency in the federal government. You don't build a machine out of 2 million parts without risking a bit of redundancy. Some would even argue things are done inefficiently for a reason. Something about wanting it to take it's time to make decisions instead of moving a breakneck speed and screwing everyone over. HOWEVER, government efficiency is something constantly studied and this concept that Papa Musky is proposing is nothing new. He's just done it in a dumber way than has ever been attempted before.

Now go check out the list: DOGE Ya Know What I'm Saying.