DOGE Ya Know What I'm Saying

This is the list. The culmination of minutes of effort by the entire staff of Minimally Useful to bash the Department of Government Efficiency for it's inefficiencies. If you want to read more about why we made this list, you can read about it in our post over here. Otherwise, enjoy our ramblings. We will update this list as time goes on, so be sure to check back occasionally for the new juicy tidbits.

DOGE Itself

First, the Department of Government Efficiency was first announced on November 12, 2024 by President elect Donald Trump ^[source]. It's stated purpose, from what we can tell, is to haphazardly cut things from the federal budget that a couple billionaires don't think every day people need or care about and to strike fear into the hearts of nearly 2 million federal employees.

The department, that probably won't be an actual department unless congress creates it because something about laws or something, kicked things off by doing the most efficient thing ever, followed up by the second most efficient thing ever. First, and this is my personal favorite (which is why I put it first), what is more efficient than creating a whole new department, full of new employees that have no insight into how anything works with the express purpose of telling the, in a lot of cases, lifelong employees how their jobs are extraneous. Adding more people to achieve the goal of reducing bloat. This is like installing a second water fountain on your front yard because you can't decide if the first one is "too much". Side note, I don't care what the HOA bylaws say Belinda, a 3-story fountain is perfectly reasonable.

Second delicious morsel of absurdity, it's got two leads. As that always say, "two heads are more efficient than one". The total brain count is not factored into that equation but we're pretty sure that has something to do with the distributive property of mathematics. The co-leads are Elon Musk (CEO of 87 corporations and alleged Diablo 4 superstar) and Vivek Ramaswamy (failed presidential candidate, possibly racist towards himself, and somehow less cool knock-off of pharma-bro). This tremendous tag-team presumably plans to go through the list of top X posters and slap them into an unpaid position to decide if grandma should be able to talk to a real person in the Social Security office. Godspeed.

The Staffing

For this little rant, we'll just ignore the backgrounds of the two yahoos in charge. It will be more fun to talk about the method and type of people being pulled in. Musk has reached out to top men to fill this role. Top men.

Musk has blasted a message into the ruins of the platform formerly known as Twitter to dredge up the most impressive of candidates willing to respond to what sounds to be a thrilling job opportunity. More on that here. He has touted the positions with this thrilling statement:

This will be tedious work, make lots of enemies & compensation is zero

And if that wasn't enticing enough followed it up by stating that only the top 1% of applicants would be reviewed.

We'll leave this section short by ending with a question. What kind of applicants do you think you'll get with an application process run through X (formerly Twitter) for a job that is promising long hours and no pay?